Possible Career Options for George W. Bush

Our beloved President George W. Bush is nearly finished warming his chair in the Oval Office. Though the door on one career is closing for Mr. Bush I like to think that other ones will open.

Like any other retiree he has to consider carefully how he is best going to spend his twilight years. For example, I would imagine that his Vice President Dick Cheney will likely resume his position as CEO of Haliburton. The company has thrived in his absence and I think he can depend on his old job waiting for him when he leaves the White House.

However, George Jr. is a different case. His former position of Governor of Texas would be a step backwards after having served as Commander in Chief.

So what are some good options for George?

1. Selling Timeshare Condos

Vacations are something that George knows all about, so why not put his skill and experience to good use and help other folks with their vacation planning. After all if you can sell the American people on weapons of mass destruction then selling a vacation timeshare should be a breeze. Other variations on this might be Recreational Vehicle sales or Dude Ranch Manager.

2. Wal-Mart Greeter

George's diplomatic skills could be put to good use here as he stands at the door welcoming them in to spend their final welfare checks now that their jobs have gone overseas to places like China. And they can still get great deals at the Wal-Mart because of all the inexpensive goods they have managed to import from China.

3. Call Center Operator

The perfect job for George - who knows how to stubbornly stick to a script. His less than perfect mastery of the English language should not impair him here either. Remember, if you don't want to change telephone providers you could find a squad of Marines knocking down your front door.

4. Science Fiction Writer

Actually this career should be a no-brainer for George. Over the past eight years he has worked hard to create an alternate universe and all he has to do is describe it. The title of his first novel? Mission Accomplished.

5. Bicycle Courier

George is hell on two wheels. Just imagine him wheeling in and out of city traffic, nose piercings flashing in the sunshine, purple Mohawk standing tall and calling everyone, "Dude" (apologies to Cake).

6. Secretary General of the United Nations

See "science fiction" above.

As you can see from the examples above George W. has a lot of options. With his powerful resume and his unique reputation among the pantheon of American Presidents, I am certain that George will move on to even greater glory.

Good luck Mr. President and please don't let the door hit you on the way out.